


ran to the end (and you almost didn't follow)

by theclingyduo



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Brothers, Canon Compliant, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, but also pain because. you know, there's so many hugs i love them so much, yes i know both my fics published are about these two but consider this i love them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29596572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theclingyduo/pseuds/theclingyduo
Summary: Tommy reaches out, takes Tubbo’s hand in his, and they turn to face the bastard that almost killed them together.(It’s still Tommy and Tubbo, until the end.)-(Or: The finale, and what comes after.It's good to be home.)
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit
Comments: 18
Kudos: 102
Collections: Completed stories I've read





	ran to the end (and you almost didn't follow)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sincethestars](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sincethestars/gifts).



“Say your goodbyes.”

Tommy stares, wide-eyed, at Dream, before the white-hot fury that’s been sitting heavy in his chest this entire time, crushed down by the shock from the vault they’ve been shoved into, finally erupts. “No- _no_ , we’re not going to say our _fucking_ goodbyes,” Tommy spits out, shoving Tubbo behind him and glaring daggers at the _bastard_ in front of him – he described Tubbo as a _pawn_ – Tommy’s best friend is the _furthest_ thing from a fucking _pawn_. Like hell he’s going to give up on Tubbo. Like hell he’s going to let Dream get one more fucking win. Like _hell_ he’s going to lose his best _friend_ -

“You’re going to lose the opportunity to say goodbye to your best friend!” Dream snaps out, and Tommy really fucking wishes he could see what the bastard’s thinking behind that _fucking_ mask. “Tubbo’s toast – Tubbo’s _gone_ , Tommy. It’s only a matter of time! I’m being generous enough by giving you this time!”

“Generous my _ass_.” Tommy turns around fully, making sure to keep himself between Tubbo and Dream, and says viciously, “You’re not going to _touch_ him, Dream- you’ll have to kill me before you’ll ever get a chance to kill him.” Dream stares at him for a moment, before he lets out a derisive laugh.

“You really don’t get it, Tommy, do you?” He asks rhetorically, before- he _moves_.

Tubbo yelps from behind Tommy, and Tommy spins around in shock to see Dream jerking Tubbo away by his elbow, holding his axe against Tommy’s best friend’s neck. Tubbo’s eyes – already red and fear-filled because of the _hell_ they’ve been put through; _he’s_ been put through – are blown wide, and Tommy freezes as Dream presses his axe in and blood beads up around it. Dream snorts at Tommy’s lack of ability to do _anything_ , apparently, sounding purely _amused_ , before throwing Tubbo carelessly towards Tommy. Tommy catches his best friend, and shoves him behind Tommy again as he glares at Dream.

“You’re _not_ in control here, Tommy!” Dream says exasperatedly. He flicks the blood off his axe; Tommy’s sure it’s entirely purposeful how it splatters across Tommy’s face. “Tubbo’s going to die here. You can’t stop it. So say your _goddamn_ goodbyes – I’ll stay over here,” Dream edges a little closer to the portal – to one of their ways out – and then says, gesturing offhandedly, “And you can go over there a little bit.”

Tubbo edges over towards where Dream gestured, as if it’s just instinct, but Tommy takes a step forward and _glares_. “No- no! Fuck you, Dream, you’re not-”

“Tommy,” Tubbo says quietly from behind Tommy, and Tommy snaps his mouth closed. Tubbo’s voice has conveyed many emotions today, from excitement to anger to dismay to pure, abject _fear_ , but Tommy…Tommy’s never heard his friend this thoroughly _defeated_. Tommy glances back, and Tubbo’s holding his hand out, as if imploring him to come with him, to stop fighting with Dream. Tommy takes it unthinkingly and steps closer.

He says lowly, incessantly, “Tubbo- Tubbo, listen. We’re going to get out of here.” He reaches forward with his other hand and runs his thumb gently over the cut in Tubbo’s throat, wiping the blood away before saying, “You’re not going to _fucking_ die- look, there’s the portal _right there_ -”

“We’ll be dead before we get to the portal,” Tubbo interrupts him, voice flat. He gestures over to where Dream is – between them and the portal – and gives Tommy a helpless little shrug. “Too much of a distance.”

He then smiles, a small, sadness-tinted thing, and even though there’s blood crusted at the corner of his mouth and blood still trailing down from the cut on his throat and bruises covering his entire body, it actually seems genuine. “Hey,” he says softly, tapping the bottom of Tommy’s chin and forcing him to look away from the fucking _cut_ in Tubbo’s _throat_ . “Hey, it’s alright.” Gods, Tubbo sounds so _accepting_ already, and Tommy _can’t_ handle this. “It’s alright. We had some laughs – a lot of laughs, actually – it…it was fun, while it lasted.”

( _“Tubbo, I bet I can climb this tree with my eyes closed.”_

_“Wait just one second- I want to record you because you’re going to fail and it’s gonna be hilarious.”_

_“Oh,_ fuck _you, bitch.”_

 _Laughter bursts out from Tubbo, even as Tommy pouts at him._ )

( _“Tommy. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy-”_

 _“_ What _, Tubbo?!”_

_“Hi!”_

_“Oh, you_ prick- 

_Laughter erupts from his best friend, even as Tommy scowls at him._ )

( _“Tubbo…I’m nervous, about tomorrow.”_

_A small smile. “We’ll be fine. After all, we have each other, right?”_

_“Yeah…yeah. We’ll be fine.”_ )

Memories flood Tommy’s brain, good and bad and everything in between, and it _aches,_ looking at Tubbo and seeing the sheer resignation on his face. Why is Tommy’s best friend, his brother in all but blood, his _best friend_ giving up like this? “Why are you just accepting this?” Tommy asks, voice breaking. Tubbo’s still wearing that _stupid_ smile, that stupid _I’m hurt and I’m scared but I’m okay with this_ smile that he always gets when he’s being stupidly self-deprecating (he’d had it earlier, too, when Dream told Tommy to give the disc over lest he kill Tubbo) and Tommy _hates_ it. He hates it, because it means Tubbo doesn’t think he’s worth it; doesn’t think he needs to live any longer.

Tommy’s nothing without Tubbo. Why doesn’t he _see_ that?

“We can still escape, we can still- Tubbo, don’t just give _up_ like this!” Tommy insists, and Tubbo shakes his head. He sounds _stupidly_ logical as he outlines every route they might be able to take in some circumstances, and how they’re not available to them. His voice is stupidly level, and he’s stupidly _calm_ the entire time, and it’s so _stupid_. They’re _Tommy and Tubbo_ , they never accept defeat; they never accept that they’ve been beaten. They always claw their way back up back from the brink, and _damn_ if Tommy’s not going to do that again this time.

He’s not losing Tubbo. He’s _not_.

He _refuses_.

Tubbo, though, _has_ accepted it, it seems, and Tommy hates hates _hates_ it. Where’s his stupidly stubborn best friend, huh? Tubbo says lightly (considering the circumstances, at least), “It was fun! We had some laughs, it was fun teasing you all the time – especially when you got stuck under those pistons – gods, that was fun,” Tubbo says with a little laugh. Tommy can’t even bring himself to smile at the memory of _that_ , arguably one of the funniest things that’s happened on this server, and Tubbo meets his eyes, and his own soften. “It was fun,” Tubbo repeats, soft, “While it lasted, at least.”

Tubbo looks away, then, letting out a halting laugh. There’s some shakiness in there, then, and Tommy’s chest tightens as Tubbo says, “I just- well, I never thought _this_ would be my coming to an end.” Tubbo jerks his head down, scrubs at the corners of his eyes with his sleeve, and Tommy closes his eyes, willing the sudden burning in the backs of his eyes to go the fuck _away_.

Tubbo’s head is still bowed, and he’s truly giving up, and he repeats, voice breaking, “I never thought this would be the end.”

“Tubbo,” Tommy breaks in, snatching Tubbo’s other hand and bringing them close to his chest. Tubbo looks up, and Tommy can’t keep his voice from shaking as he says, “What am I without you?”

After both exiles, _especially_ after the second one, after Tommy hadn’t been able to see Tubbo at all (after he hadn’t known whether Tubbo still considered Tommy his friend), Tommy had been so _lost_. He hadn’t known what to do, he hadn’t…hadn’t known who he _was_ without his best friend by his side. If Tubbo’s gone for _good_ -

What will Tommy _do_?

An infinite series of emotions flashes across Tubbo’s face, then, pain and grief and despair among the worst, but also care and fondness and _love_ , above all. “Yourself,” Tubbo says softly, gently working one of his hands from Tommy’s in order to cup his cheek, thumb brushing gently over his cheekbone in order to catch the few tears that have slipped out. “You’ll be yourself,” he repeats softer as Tommy leans into his hand, and this time Tommy can’t help but let out a shuddering sob.

(He doesn’t _know_ who he is without Tubbo – it’s _always_ been _them_ , through thick and thin, laughter and tears, pain and joy, victory and defeat. He doesn’t remember what it’s _like_ , without Tubbo, and the thing he wants least in the world is to find out.)

He yanks the hand that’s still in his towards him, pulling Tubbo into a tight, desperate hug. Tubbo’s stiff for a moment before he sinks into Tommy, and Tommy pulls him close, burying his face in his hair and closing his eyes against the tears. “Are you just…accepting this, then? Are you okay-” Tommy cuts himself off, burying his face deeper into his best friend’s hair. Tubbo doesn’t say anything, but he trembles slightly in Tommy’s embrace before nodding slowly into his shoulder.

“It’s alright. It’s alright! Hey,” and even fucking now, when Tubbo’s about to fucking _die_ , Tubbo’s still trying to comfort _him_. Like he’s the one that needs comforting – Tubbo’s the one who’s about to fucking _die_ , Tommy should be comforting _him_ -

Tubbo’s hand comes up and ruffles the hair at the back of Tommy’s head, and Tommy chokes on a sob.

(Will used to do that.)

“Are you going to be okay?” Tommy forces himself to ask around the knot in his throat, leaning back slightly and meeting Tubbo in the eyes. They’re both red and raw, still, but he’s not crying right now, and that might be the thing that hurts the _most_ , right now. Tubbo just smiles, and nods slightly.

“It was fun- and we said our goodbyes already at the start,” Tubbo says simply, as if that’s all they needed, as if that’s all _he_ needs to be happy. To _die_ happy.

Tommy shakes his head in denial, and says, “No, no- we were optimistic, Tubbo! We were optimistic; my _mic_ fucking broke, and we were bantering, and-” A laugh from Tubbo cuts off Tommy, and Tubbo just shakes his head and smiles fondly at Tommy.

“Yeah, it was fun,” he repeats for what must be the tenth fucking time. He weaves his fingers through Tommy’s, and Tommy clutches back desperately as Tubbo says, “You _made_ it fun, Tommy- thank you. Thank you, for that, for making my life that much better.”

“Shut the fuck up, Tubbo,” Tommy chokes out, the knot in his throat swelling up like nobody’s business. “You don’t just get to- you’re-” Tommy can’t find the fucking _words_ but his best friend can’t just _say these things_ when he’s about to fucking _die_ . Tommy takes a deep breath in, breathes out, and says, “Tubbo, you’re my best friend, and I’m- I’m not fucking giving up on you. I’m _not_.”

Tubbo lets out a humorless laugh, and says dryly, “Tommy, we’ve been backed into a corner. And, you know, he described me as a pawn- this is checkmate, Tommy. This is it. This is the end.” Tommy swallows, and sends a deep, hatred-filled glare over his shoulder at Dream before Tubbo sighs and squeezes Tommy’s hand to bring his attention back to him. “I suggest you resign,” Tubbo says softly.

Tommy takes a shuddering breath in, looking desperately for some way out – _any_ way out, but he can’t find anything- just like what Tubbo had said, earlier. Tommy closes his eyes, then, and reopens them as he says, “Tubbo, listen.” Tommy makes sure to look Tubbo directly in the eyes, and says, “Listen, this entire time, in this entire server, I’ve always considered you my sidekick. But, honestly, Tubbo…I’ve been your sidekick.”

Again, Tommy yanks Tubbo back into a tight-as-all-hell hug, and whispers into the crown of his head, “Please don’t go. Please…please don’t go.” Tubbo sighs, giving Tommy a hug in return and shaking slightly in Tommy’s arms. He pulls away soon enough, though, giving Tommy’s hands one more squeeze before letting go.

(They feel cold.)

“No. No, it’s fine,” Tubbo says, voice falling flatter and more monotone than it has been. He gives Tommy a wry smile, then says, “It’s about time, anyway.” No, no, no _no no no no_ it is _not_ about fucking time it’s _never_ time for Tubbo to die it’s _not_ \- “It’s about time.”

Tommy reaches forward desperately as Tubbo walks towards Dream, trying to stop his stupid best friend from going to the stupid _bastard_ who wants to kill him for _no reason_ , but he doesn’t stop, and Tommy doesn’t know what to _do_ -

Suddenly, there’s movement. Suddenly, someone appears in the portal. Suddenly, Punz is there.

Suddenly, Tommy feels like he can breathe again.

“Sorry, Dream,” Punz says, and Tommy can’t do more than stare. He came. He _came_. Tommy didn’t think he was actually going to come but he _did_ and now they- they can _win_. “Sorry, Dream, but you should’ve paid me more.”

Dream’s staring towards Punz, for the moment, but soon enough he turns his attention to Tubbo- Tubbo, who’s still closer to Dream than to Tommy, who’s within reach, who Dream is _reaching_ towards and raising his _axe_ towards, and-

Tommy moves faster than he ever has, grips Tubbo’s arm in his, and _runs_. Tommy faintly hears the sound of someone blocking an axe with theirs and telling Dream to leave them be, but fuck if he knows or cares who it is other than feeling a sense of gratitude that Tommy’s not sure will fade. Tubbo runs along with him, and soon they’re behind the line of their friends (all of them came, all of them _came_ ) and they’re safe, safe, _safe_.

They breathe heavily, for just a moment. Then- Tommy doesn’t know who launched at the other first or who made contact first but in the end, it’s Tommy and Tubbo, tangled up in each other and sobbing into the other’s shoulder and gripping each other’s backs as hard as they can. And then, they just…hold each other, for a moment. Tommy gets a better grip around Tubbo, practically lifting him up and holding him against him. Tubbo rests his head against Tommy’s shoulder, and Tommy ignores the wet spot forming on his shoulder just as Tubbo’s ignoring the one forming on his.

“You know, I think this is the most we’ve cried like, ever,” Tubbo mumbles into Tommy’s shoulder, and Tommy lets out an ugly laugh. (He thought they were ignoring it, at least.)

“Shut the fuck up. I think we’re justified.” Still though, Tubbo’s comment lightens Tommy, just a bit; enough that he can bear letting go of Tubbo and standing up straight. He can’t seem to stop smiling, feeling lighter than he has in days, and Tubbo seems around the same. His lip is still bloody, the line on his neck still red, but even covered in bruises he looks relieved, looks _happy_.

Tommy reaches out, takes Tubbo’s hand in his, and they turn to face the bastard that almost killed them together.

(It’s still Tommy and Tubbo, until the end.)

-

“Well, today was a day.”

Tommy _snorts_ , giving Tubbo a side-eyed look as they walk home from the bench, the light slowly fading from around them as the sun sets behind them. “That’s one way of putting it,” Tommy says dryly. “Dream imprisoned, talking to Wilbur, almost dying again and again and again – yeah, it sure _has_ been one.” Tubbo just laughs brightly.

“I could be all depressing and shit, but I think we’ve had quite enough of that for today,” Tubbo says cheekily, and Tommy rolls his eyes and shoves at his best friend but gives him that, for once in his life.

He says, “Yeah, I suppose that’s fair,” and Tubbo just snickers at him.

Tommy shoves him. Tubbo catches himself with ease and gives him his _I’m-better-than-you_ grin. Tommy sticks his tongue out at him. Tubbo trips him. Tommy falls.

“What was that for?!” Tommy asks – no, he’s definitely not whining, shut _up_ voice inside of him that sounds suspiciously like Will – and Tubbo just laughs at him. Again.

Why did he save this prick again?

Tubbo’s smile grows soft, and he tilts his head back and closes his eyes and breathes in the fresh air, and Tommy feels something fond clench inside of him.

(Now, he remembers.

He wouldn’t give up his best friend for the world.)

Tubbo glances over, then, and asks, “Hey, you going back to your place?” Tommy hesitates – the crossroads are just up ahead, and Tommy doesn’t want to go to Snowchester, to cold and snow and misery, but, also- he can’t bear the thought of being separated from Tubbo, right now. He refuses to live there, but he’ll make do for one day, at least. (Plus, Tubbo’s house is probably a hell of a lot better than Technoblade’s house and _definitely_ better than Logstedshire.)

Tommy laughs, and it only sounds a little forced. “I _would_ , but I suspect you’re gonna be Clingy-Tubbo and beg me to come with, so I may as well just save myself the trouble and just agree to come with you from the start.” Tubbo rolls his eyes.

“You sure I’m being the clingy one?”

“You are _so_ clingy, Tubbo, I can’t even _believe_ -”

Laughing and shoving at each other, it seems to take barely any time at all to reach Tubbo’s house, and the warmth is a relief, after having to deal with the frigid winds outside. “How do you deal with this?” Tommy grumbles. “It’s _freezing_ here.”

Tubbo gives him a strange look. “It’s warm inside, and I like it here. It’s…away, from everything else.” Tommy’s not ready to handle the emotion that he knows is weaved throughout that statement, even though Tubbo’s tone is mild as always, so he just hums and leaves the conversation be, then.

After that, they eat, and then goof around some more, playing games and teasing each other and tackling each other into the ground when they lose like they didn’t just almost die three hours ago, and it’s…nice. Tommy hasn’t been able to spend time with Tubbo like this in what feels like forever (since before Exile which really _does_ feel like a lifetime ago). He missed his best friend; the home he always has with him.

Soon enough, though, Tubbo mentions they really should go to sleep. Tommy agrees and promptly acts like he’s going to fall asleep right there at the table. Tubbo kicks the chair out from under him. Tommy most definitely does _not_ squawk as he falls to the ground, that’d be _embarrassing_ , but he does most definitely launch a pencil at the back of Tubbo’s head in retaliation.

Tubbo definitely _does_ squawk when it lands. And it’s _definitely_ satisfying.

(Tommy really missed this.)

It doesn’t take long for them to move to the bedroom, and as Tommy settles in one bed, Tubbo makes to move to another bed. That’s what they normally do when they stay together, but- Tommy can’t do this, tonight. Not when he almost lost his best friend, not when the very _second_ Tommy moved more than a foot from Tubbo, Dream was on top of him, not when he’s still raw and he still shakes at the thought of Tubbo getting more than a few feet from him. No, he needs Tubbo close.

He snags Tubbo’s hand, and, refusing to look at him, says, “Stay.” He means it to sound more like an order and less like a plea, but from the concern that flashes in Tubbo’s eyes before understanding softens them when Tommy glances up, he’s not sure he succeeded. Tubbo stays, though, moving closer to where Tommy’s laid down, so Tommy’s going to count it as a victory.

The bed’s a little small for them both, Tommy has to admit, but he doesn’t think either of them care, given Tommy ends up with his legs tangled with Tubbo’s and Tubbo’s head resting on Tommy’s shoulder. They fall asleep like this, and Tommy’s never felt so warm.

It’s still dark when Tommy gasps awake.

He doesn’t know, at first, where he is, what happened, what time it is; but slowly, surely, awareness seeps back into him, and he forces his shoulders to relax and his hands to unclench. He takes a glance around ( _Dream’s not here, Dream’s not here, you’re safe now, you’re safe now, you’re safe_ -) before finally letting himself fall back down, barely remembering not to crush Tubbo, still sound asleep beside him.

Speaking of Tubbo…

Tommy turns over onto his side, propping himself up on one elbow to look down at his partner in crime. He’s curled up into a ball, chest curled in protectively around himself as if he’s trying to make himself as small as possible. Tommy frowns, and looks a little closer at his best friend.

(Tubbo never used to sleep like that. He used to sleep sprawled out, taking up as much room as he could and making Tommy’s life _very_ inconvenient the few times they had to share a bed. He never used to sleep as if making one sound would mean his death; as if taking up more room than he needed to would mean the end.

He tries not to think about himself doing the exact same thing ( _holes and ruined, ratty beds and cold and not enough shelter and limited blankets and frigid, miserable loneliness_ ) and just pulls the blanket up further around Tubbo’s shoulders.)

Tommy, then, tries to get back to sleep.

Emphasis on _tries_.

 _Climbing the steep, stupid-tall cliff; being face-to-face with Dream for the first time since L’Manberg got destroyed for the last time; fighting, fighting, fighting, and more and more fighting; the rush of victory; the crushing defeat; the slow realization that they were screwed; Tubbo’s resignation; bone-crushing fear; Tommy not being able to do_ anything _-_

_Punz. Everyone else. Victory._

_Freedom._

_(The fear never leaving.)_

Tommy groans softly, rolling onto his back and grinding the heels of his hands into his eyes. He can’t get the fucking _memories_ out of his _head_ \- what the fuck, he’s okay now, he’s safe now, why can’t he fucking _sleep_?

Unbidden, the image of Tubbo, standing in front of him, walking _away from him_ , resigned to dying, resigned to losing, resigned to leaving Tommy _behind_ , rises to the front of Tommy’s mind. Tommy scrunches his eyes shut tighter; presses the heels of his hands down deeper to the point where they start aching. Tubbo’s fine, Tubbo’s fine, Tubbo’s safe, Tubbo’s _safe_ , he’s literally _right here_ -

Before Tommy can stop himself, he’s reaching for Tubbo’s hand, resting innocently on the mattress next to his face. He hesitates, for a second – he’s not a baby, he doesn’t need to hold someone’s _hand_ , especially not the one of his best friend, but- it does sound nice, being able to feel his warmth; feel that he’s safe.

(Tubbo’s always been a deep sleeper, anyway.)

Tommy takes a deep, shuddering breath, and threads his fingers through Tubbo’s.

Instantly, the warmth comforts him, and Tommy feels like he can breathe a little better. He slowly relaxes back, the tense muscles in his lower back finally easing and allowing Tommy to breathe, fully and easily. He’s okay. He’s okay, now. He’s-

“Tommy?”

Tommy yelps and jerks his hand away from Tubbo’s as if he’s been burned, turning away and pretending he isn’t flushing like he never has before. “I wasn’t holding your hand,” Tommy mumbles, crossing his arms.

He can just _imagine_ Tubbo’s raised eyebrows as he says, “Uh-huh.”

“I’m _fine_.”

“Uh-huh.”

All the warning Tommy gets is a deep sigh from Tubbo before he’s _yanked_ upright. Tommy yelps, fighting against Tubbo’s manhandling. “Tubbo- I’m not a fucking baby, what the _fuck_ -”

“Shut up,” Tubbo grumbles right back, finishing manhandling Tommy so that they’re sitting shoulder-to-shoulder against the headboard, Tommy’s hand clasped firmly in Tubbo’s. (Tommy hates how much it reassures him.) Tubbo levels a deadpan glare on Tommy and says, “So. Either you’re going to tell me why you woke me up at ass-o-clock in the morning holding my hand, or I’m going to force you to.”

Tommy glares right back at Tubbo. “I wasn’t holding your fucking hand,” he says mulishly, and Tubbo snorts.

“You’re gonna have to tell me a better lie than that.”

“Shut up.”

“No.”

Tommy tilts his head back and closes his eyes. He doesn’t want to tell Tubbo- they’re his own fucking issues, and they don’t even make _sense_ because he’s _fine_ , they’re both _fine_ , but- he’s still- the fear won’t fucking _leave him_. He hates it.

Something must have made itself known on Tommy’s face because Tubbo, who had been focused on Tommy and just giving him a mild glare, softens like butter. “Tommy,” he says softly, and for some reason, _that_ tone, that name, that voice just causes the floodgates to open.

“You can’t fucking give up like that, Tubbo,” Tommy snaps, instantly regretting it but not about to go back now. Tubbo’s eyes widen, and Tommy decides _fuck it_ and continues. “That bullshit back there – don’t you _dare_ ever give up like that again. I don’t care if the odds are against us, and our chances are impossible anyway, don’t you _dare_ give up like that ever again. Don’t you dare-” Here Tommy’s voice breaks, and he refuses to fucking look at the look that must be on Tubbo’s face. He can’t help it, though, when he says, “You can’t…you can’t leave me, Tubbo. I can’t-”

Tommy looks up, and Tubbo’s face is carefully blank, the only sign that he’s feeling anything at all is the way he’s chewing almost violently on his bottom lip. Tommy’s eyes catch on the thin, red stripe across Tubbo’s throat, and his own tightens with unshed tears. “I can’t lose you, Tubbo. I’m nothing without you.”

There’s a quiet between them, for a moment, Tommy looking away and studiously refusing to look at Tubbo again. He can’t believe he just _said_ that, when did he become so _weak_ -

Tubbo pulls him against his side. Tommy yelps and immediately tries to escape.

“I’m sorry,” Tubbo murmurs, and Tommy immediately freezes. Tubbo continues, voice soft and soothing and so completely unlike how they normally talk to each other, “I’m sorry I was so weak; I’m sorry I almost left you. But I’m not sorry for being willing to give myself up.”

Tubbo meets his eyes, and they’re blazing hot. “You’re mine, TommyInnit. My best friend. I’m sorry I caused you all this pain, but I’d do it again if I have to. I’m not letting you get hurt.”

“You’re a fucking _dumbass_ ,” Tommy spits, trying to ignore the way his chest is feeling much too warm and much too tight. “I already _told_ you that without you I’m _nothing_.”

“That’s bullshit,” Tubbo snaps right back. “You’re my best friend. You’re a pain-in-the-ass stubborn-as-shit asshole, but you’re also the funniest motherfucker I know and one of the bravest people I know and god _dammit_ you’re worth so much more than you make yourself out to be. You’ll always be more than my best friend and you’d better accept that or I’ll beat it into you myself.”

Tommy stares at Tubbo for a long moment, brain short-circuiting before he chuckles, a little disbelievingly. “You’re a prick,” he says, and by the way Tubbo snorts and gives him a smile, Tommy thinks he understands what he’s trying to say.

 _Thank you_.

Still, though, he mutters a little sleepily, falling into Tubbo’s side against his will, “You’re not allowed to leave me.”

Tommy can’t see Tubbo, but he can hear his sigh and imagine the exasperated smile on his face. “You’re not allowed to, either,” he says, and that’s the closest to a compromise Tommy’s gonna get, he thinks.

“It’s a promise, then,” Tommy says, and Tubbo hums an agreement.

“It’s a promise.”

It’s not exactly what Tommy wanted, but…Tubbo’s here, he’s alive, he’s as happy as he can be. That’ll have to be enough.

It’ll have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I love these boys so much....hope you all enjoyed!!! Gifted to my amazing friend because I love her - thanks for being amazing Ama I love you so very much <333333


End file.
